Advice From A Newbie Writer 3: Same Gender Characters

[foolish_m0rtal]

Dealing with people of the same gender

Oh no. Two characters of the same gender have the audacity to interact with each other in your story. The pronouns are everywhere. What do you do? 

I've seen a lot of clever creative things people have done to get around this (maybe because a lot of what I read is slash, cough), and many times they sound awkward. Things people do:

A) Keep describing the character
Matthias Harsh the antiquary becomes 'the antiquary' or 'the historian.' Worse, sometimes he becomes 'the blonde man' 'the bespectacled man' or 'the younger man.'

B) Make the character the other man
Literally, the character keeps being described as 'the other man.' 

People are always afraid of using the characters' names too much, but often times it sounds the cleanest. In this case, it's all about perceived proximity and point of view. Who is included in your limited third-person (if you're doing limited third-person)? How close are they to the second character?

 

Sometimes if the characters are distant, using the above two techniques is perfectly fine. The problem happens when the characters are fucking acquainted more closely and that distance isn't there. Use the characters' names. It's fine. As a reader, I am seldom annoyed with a repetition of names, but I am often annoyed by a repetition of awkwardly managed techniques A and B. I just want to know the subject of the sentence, and then I'm off. I don't care how many times 'Jonathan' is repeated in a paragraph if it helps my clarity. If Matthias Harsh the antiquary is the character for limited third-person, I can read 'he' and 'Jonathan' in a regular sentence and know exactly which pronoun belongs with whom.

He had met Jonathan Cosway through a friend from undergraduate named Wimbley, who had introduced him as a visiting cousin from Cornwall interested in mediaeval folklore.

Mm, who is 'him'? Is Jonathan Cosway from Cornwall, or is Matthias Harsh?

He had met Jonathan Cosway through a friend from undergraduate named Wimbley, who had introduced the dark-haired man as a visiting cousin from Cornwall interested in mediaeval folklore.

Kind of awkward. I do care who is being introduced in the sentence. I don't care how many times Jonathan has dark hair. There are more subtle ways of describing a character's physical attributes in a story, but that is a blog for another day.

He had met Jonathan Cosway through a friend from undergraduate named Wimbley, who had introduced Jonathan as a visiting cousin from Cornwall interested in mediaeval folklore.

I am peachy keen with this. I know who is being introduced, and I don't really notice the name repetition.

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Comments

[foolish-m0rtal.livejournal.com]

True. Putting the other information elsewhere is definitely a good idea.

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

I hate epithets with the fury of 1000 suns.

[foolish-m0rtal.livejournal.com]

Sick burn.

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha but omg seriously. I hate epithets. Especially "lover."

[foolish-m0rtal.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD. YES. Agh. I hate when people use the word 'lover' incorrectly. It certainly belongs in a particular time period, but people overuse it.

That begs the question: what IS appropriate to use?

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

Hard to say. If it were up to me, NEVER, because I've seen it used improperly too many times for me not to shudder at its sight. I hate it when characters who'd NEVER use such a word use it in dialogue, and I hate it when writers use it as a shortcut to demonstrate that their characters are now boning it. I HATE IT IN EVERY WHICH WAY I CAN.

[foolish-m0rtal.livejournal.com]

The only way it is acceptable is when Timothy uses it as an endearment in Ice Blues because he is sarcastic as hell.

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

Ooh, yes, okay, I'll grant you that.

[foolish-m0rtal.livejournal.com]

But in general to describe someone, no way. It just makes me cringe whenever I see it.

I'm sorry, but while we're on the subject. Feminised men. WTF? I am not arguing that there is a big stupid gulf between what is acceptable for a woman and what is acceptable for a man. I hate that. I'm not saying all dudes have to be big and bulky and all women have to be tiny and waifish.

BUT. If you're describing your men the same way you're describing your women, something is wrong with biology in your universe. Maybe this is just me hating the 'uke-ing' present in slash. Maybe this is what has drawn me irresistably to Stargate slash, particularly McShep. I don't really know how to express my sentiments in actual words right now.

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

Noooooooooooooo, I get you. It was a huge problem in my old fandom, wrestling, where the men are definitely hyper masculine, physically and otherwise, and still people were describing them in inappropriate terms.

Haha actually, speaking of physical descriptions though, the thing that amuses me currently is people describing Erik as having perfectly white teeth. I love Fassbender and all, but dude is a hardcore smoker and it shows. He's hot, but perfect white teeth, he ain't got. I laugh every time I see it.

[foolish-m0rtal.livejournal.com]

People with perfectly white teeth are genuinely creepy.
(I was not aware of this whiteteeth!Erik meme. Clearly I need to read more Erik/Charles. I got into a random Erik/Charles discussion with a dude in this diner yesterday, which culminated with "Yeah, James Mcavoy ships Erik/Charles." "Really? That's awesome!")

I think everyone in the Tom Hardy fandom was like "NOOOOO!" when he said he might fix his wonky front tooth. People are imperfect and...well, PEOPLE. Writers need to get over that shit.

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

It isn't super common but whenever it does, I laugh and laugh. Considering how often Erik/Fassbender bares his teeth (enough to generate the shark meme), I thought it'd be pretty obvious that he doesn't have pristime colored teeth. Perfect teeth creeps me out too. I like imperfections. More human that way.

[foolish-m0rtal.livejournal.com]

Shark meme. Oh, shark meme. Now whenever I watch Erik in the Argentinian bar, the Jaws theme music is playing somewhere in the back of my head. Nazis better not go swimming alone, or Erik Lehnsherr will kill your ass dead.

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Do you find that the movie is, in some ways, ruined for you because of macros? I laughed hysterically at the most inappropriate places now.

[foolish-m0rtal.livejournal.com]

Yes. So much. I don't know many of the macros (ONTD had a lot of actor macros, but not so much for characters but maybe I didn't go back far enough). Just the peace was never an option art. Still, FC discussions are just made of LOLs in general, so I'm giggling anyway.

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

OMG PIECE IS NEVER AN OPTION. THAT HAS RUINED THAT SCENE FOR ME SO HARD.

And "I'm not like the other Nazis." Oh lord.

[foolish-m0rtal.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOLOL. People in the theatre think we're nuts or have a very disturbing sense of humour.

I'll have to look through the comm for some more life-ruining macros. Perhaps go on a jaunt through TV tropes.

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

Or just obnoxious! :D