A Series of Independent Observations

[foolish_m0rtal]

 1) I went to the Aquarium today. A mother said, "Are those fish?" and her young son answered, "We're in an Aquarium." I once felt hopeless looking at the next generations, but they are learning sarcasm early now. I feel proud and hopeful for the future.

2) I saw a shark at the Aquarium and thought of Erik Lehnsherr. (Dammit, XMen fandom. Why are you so awesome and pervasive?) Now whenever I watch the scene with him in the water taking out ships (the scene where Charles manly-spoons him in the water and tells him to let go of Shaw's submarine) I am now substituting with the Jaws theme song in the background. Music videos must be made.

3) I like going places by myself. Sometimes it sucks relying on other people. But many times this almost makes me a second-class citizen in terms of the service I get. Maybe it's because we as people are expected to be a social animal, but many times I'm looked upon with a mixture of pity and something like shock, as if people are wondering what wrong with me that I'm somewhere by myself.

The Aquarium. There were parents with children, there were couples out on dates. Reminders of the horrors I'm expected to go through when I get a few years older. As someone there by myself, people seemed to unconsciously expect me to defer to them in terms of walking around, standing at exhibits, getting service. I was asked to take a lot of family and disgustingly kissy couple photographs.

 

 

It's like people merge into a giant organism, and the larger the collective, the larger the organism. It's like how the largest predators in the wild get first pick of the food, and the smaller predators are expected to defer and take their photographs. (For the last time, I am not a moron and have actually seen a camera before. You don't have to tell me where the button is. Why, it's the large button on the top right. How surprising. I would have never thought to look there)

 

4) Number 3 continued, actually. The same thing happened when I went to a restaurant. This is not an everyday occurrence; if anything, people are usually nicer to me at restaurants because...I don't know. They feel sorry for me or something. I also feel a little that it's more unusual for a female to go around by herself than a male. 

 

Anyway, I didn't want to believe it because people are generally decent, but sometimes it's really true that you get second-rate restaurant service if you show up by yourself because they know you can't tip them as well. I was eating at the bar, and there were a few people eating together beside me. The server was there talking to the group the entire time. OTHER SERVERS had to stop by to refill my water and get my food. This is a woman who was not even two feet away from me the entire time. The only thing she did was stop by and ask, 'How everything was,' when my mouth was full. Just fucking fine till you showed up with that double-standards face and put me off my food.

 

5) I finished Kim Newman's Anno Dracula, and it was amazing. It's everything I could ever hope to achieve with my steampunk fiction. He's such a well-researched author. He's amazing. If you like any of my steampunk fiction at all, please go read his stuff.

 

6) Started the second Temeraire book. I'm kind of confused with the name changes. When did Jane become 'Roland' again, and how the hell did Granby become 'John'? What the hell happened in the time between the first and second book? I hope this does not mean somebody is going to get killed off. I really like Novik's female characters, especially Jane Roland the badass. I totally approve of Novik and Newman's character love interests, who are actually amazing and likeable. *happy sigh*

 

7) The Aquarium had a shark and sting ray petting exhibit today. Yes, dear readers, yours truly has just levelled up in manliness and petted sting rays and a shark. 



You had to put your hand very still in the water, and the animals would swim up to you if it caught their fancy. It was pretty much awesome.

8) Can I just say that being at college and surrounded by people my age has dulled my awareness of the outside world in strange ways. For example, I am now fucking terrified of pregnant women, and I saw so many of them today. It's just...weird how a human's body could distort itself like that, and all I can think about is that the growth has something living inside. Ugh, body horror. It reminds me so much of Alien in really disturbing ways. I can't believe my mother expects me to get pregnant and birth up a couple of grandchildren someday. Sometimes I feel so much like my family's racehorse, groomed to perform well.

 

9) This has become sort of dark and introspective rather than light and funny like I'd planned. Ummm....more things to come as I remember them. Happy things, hopefully.

 

Comments

[foolish-m0rtal.livejournal.com]

I mean, this was the first time it's happened, so I suppose I was angrier than I should have been. I LOVE going places by myself. ^____^ I went all over Japan by myself, and it was the best thing ever. I almost don't like going places with my parents, because I can't write lest they ask me what I'm doing (I keep up the illusion that writing was a silly fancy I abandoned long ago). Then I get fidgety and snappish.

Hmm, for me with the couples thing, I think it's more awkwardness, at least on the part of the couples. They don't really know what to do with me. Which is a weird thing to say, but that's the best I can put it.

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

I hear you on the going to places alone thing. But I think, even when you enjoy doing things alone and you are all right with it, there is still an overwhelming subconscious socialization against loner-dom that we end up being self-conscious about it and notice shit way more. And there's also the fact that there is no distraction from company. Like, I'd notice subpar service way more by myself, than if I had a group of friends who was keeping me entertained.

I don't know if you classify yourself as a loner, but there's an awesome book, Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto, that's really great. It does get over the top and preachy and r u srs at times, but it really sums up how I feel.

[foolish-m0rtal.livejournal.com]

Cool, I'll check it out! ^__^ It's not really that I'm a loner. I do like going places with people. On the other hand, I know people who don't go anywhere if they don't have company to go with them. And then they complain that they missed the event.

I say frak that. If you're going to be lame and not come along, that's just more sharks to pet for me.

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

The book might be grating if you don't self-identify as a loner, gotta be honest, lol. Because it's very... righteous at times, but I think you'd get it, because it talks a lot about how we're socialized to be, well, social creatures, and when you do stuff by yourself, it is incredibly threatening and offputting to others.