My Job at Its Worst

[foolish_m0rtal]

1) "My wireless doesn't work. I have a VPN connection but I'm setting up a third party connection."
2) "I'm trying to set up my university Gmail so I can forward everything to my hotmail account."
3) "How do you log onto the blueUnix computers?"
4) "The proxy's Outlook is having issues with sending and receiving to the account owner."
5) "I think I got a virus a couple of weeks back, but nothing happened so I ignored it. And now my computer won't turn on. Is that bad?"
6) "I poured nail polish remover into my DVD-RW drive."
7) "How do you set up permissions for Maple?"
8) "Symantec? What's Symantec?"
9) "I'm having a connectivity problem on Ubuntu."
10) "My headphone jack is glowing red."
11) "This flashing pop up antivirus came up saying I had a lot of viruses. So I clicked it."
12) "So then it told me I had to delete all my drivers..."
13) "The department secretary can't get onto Eservices Exchange, so I tried pinging it and now I'm doing a route. My settings are on Columbo and hers are on Mclaine."

And my personal favourite:
13) "I shut the lid of my computer and when I opened it, the screen was blank."
"Have you tried moving the mouse?"
"...oh!"

Will post more as they come. And believe me, they WILL come...