Taken from x_mog and angstbunny

[foolish_m0rtal]

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.x_mog angstbunny

It's totally great how everyone links their fic repository with all their fiction back to ff.net. It's like Warehouse 13 for fanfiction. ^_^

LJ has quickly become my primary posting ground and fanfiction.net is more just for saving all my fiction in one stable place, so I'm sorry if some of the fanfiction is not the newest version. I only update when I find discrepancies...

Comments

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

Maria Wallace was working with the thumper looking for potential fossils on the radar screen when she saw the taxi pull up. The guy stepped out and paid the driver. Man, she didn't want to take this guy in a fight- he looked tough. Tired looking and a little too thin, but tough. Who the hell was endorsing-

"Alan!"

And Dr. Brennan was running across the site like a shot.

He didn't even slow down, just crashed into Alan Grant, got a good grip around his neck, and didn't let go.

Dr. Grant grunted a little from the impact and staggered. He had lost too much weight- nothing to eat but old canned food and (God help him) dead leftovers from following behind the carnivores. They'd pumped him up with some pretty nasty injections for that one.

His hands were darting uncertainly near Dr. Brennan's shoulders, not knowing what to do. "Billy? Billy! What in- you're...What are you-"

He could feel Billy exhale once, deep and drained. "Alan. God. They said you were, I thought, I didn't want to- Alan."

Dr. Grant's expression was scrambled, ill-fitting. His movements awkward. "Billy...I'm sorry."

"You were gone." His voice was muffled in Dr. Grant's old plaid button up. It looked like one of Mark's. Alan looked wrung out, his shirt smelled like hospital disinfectant, and there were stitches along his forehead; he could feel the faint marks of band-aids on his left arm. How long had they kept him in the hospital? But he was alive. "You were gone, and there was nowhere I could... I looked everywhere. I thought you were dead."

And Dr. Grant's arms finally engulfed Billy's shoulders and squeezed once, self-consciously. "I know," he said. "You did everything you could." He could feel Billy shaking against him. "Hey...hey, you're alright. Come on." He pounded his fist against Billy's shoulder twice. "You toughed it out. And that's good. That's real good."

Dr. Brennan sounded like he was choking. She realized it was laughter. Bitter. Brittle. "Me? No. I...I didn't. I...godamn, it's good to have you back, Alan."

He suddenly felt the pairs of eyes on them and stiffened, pulling away. He looked back at Alan Grant.

And suddenly dazzling grin fired across his face like a starburst and clung there. His whole frame resonated. Dr. Brennan was one of those people that smiled with his entire body. She had never known.

[foolish-m0rtal.livejournal.com]

I worried the most about this section about making everything believable. I tried to cram a lot about Alan into this part and how he might have looked after living in a place like Sorna. (mind you, the original script had Grant living on Sorna, something I'm going to be running with in my freakishly long fic The Treehouse Club)

I was actually more concerned with nailing down Grant's reactions than Billy's. Grant can be so difficult to write sometimes. I'm always torn between the Grant from JPI and the one from JPIII.

I always felt this part was a little rushed. I had planned on ending it at the last chapter with Billy sitting in Grant's trailer. But two things kept getting stuck in my mind: the image of Billy barreling into Alan without even stopping and what a pity that Alan didn't know how lucky he was.

I wanted to contrast Billy always being open and honest with Grant, who has good intentions but just doesn't know how to express himself. (almost like Billy himslf in JPIII) We see Billy's long drawn out hug and babbling with Grant's more stiff movements and monosyllables until he sees just how hard Billy's taken all this and makes an effort to talk and awkwardly hug him back in a way that is completely out of his comfort zone. He still sees Billy as this young guy and tries to keep it professional, pounding his fist against Billy's shoulder in a way that retrospectively reminds me of the double-fisted brohug from the beer commercials. ^_^ It's embarrassing for Grant to show emotion.

Ahh, the smile. Billy's actor, Alessandro Nivola, reminds me painfully of a person I used to know in school. There was just something about the force of his personality that made you feel good to be around him. When he talked to you, he made you feel like you were the most interesting person in the world. When he smiled, it wasn't just with his mouth or eyes. He could have his back to you and you would know when he was smiling. You could tell by his hair, by his shoulders. There wasn't just one thing you could pin down. He was genuinely everyone's favourite person, and I didn't know how he could just glow like that when he was built just like everyone else.

I met him again recently and literally didn't recognise him until he stopped me to say hello. His eyes look tired and he just looks washed out like an old rag. It hurts the most when he smiles, because I remember what it used to look like, and it's not even close and will never be the same. It's amazing that I didn't recognise him JUST from his personality changing and becoming more sober and exhausted. My god, what does engineering school DO to people? Will I look like that when I get out? Will old high school friends not even recognise me at the grocery store?

I published Penelope MONTHS before I met him again, yet I cannot help but think it is slightly prophetic. I wrote a character like him without even knowing it, and the changes in the character reflected the changes in him before I'd even met him again. So I'd like to think Penelope is an homage to him, even though I wrote it months before we ever met. I mean, you can't just go through life wishing it were like old times, no matter how much you wanted it. Sometimes you just have to take what you can get.

Evolve and try to move on. Sometimes that's the only thing you can do.

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmmmm, it's really nice to get the background details for this scene, because I really liked it. Well, really liked is an understatement. Perhaps I should not be answering your very thoughtful commentary at 1am, ha! But it's like, this is a story called "Penelope" with all the weight of that reference, and here is the reunion moment that I'd been waiting for. I felt it, and it definitely came off as believable, that contrast of reaction between Billy and Alan.

I think I told you in my original feedback that I liked how this was a romantic happy reunion without being too sappy and unrealistic and yet it was still emotionally satisfying. Sometimes there is a gap between what makes sense in a storytelling fashion, and sometimes there's what gives you the most emotional satisfaction. You want both, but sometimes you can only manage one. You nailed both there, I feel.

Sad to hear about your friend. :(

[obseletevulture.livejournal.com]

Slay me! *flails*
With how much crap I ahve back there, it shoudl be interesting. *sweatdrop*