Questing-Beasts

[foolish_m0rtal]

XD  I just wrote the most ridiculous chapter EVER. It’s one of the last chapters of Questing-Beasts. (now under its official title: Arc of the Zodiac)
So in this chapter Kuro gets this friend who just happens to be female, giving Gabriel broad scope to tease him until the end of time. In one part of the chapter, they’re sitting around talking and Gabriel mentions that after the assignment is over, Kuro can come back for her.
Kuro starts complaining that Gabriel has started marrying them off already, when he’s only known this girl for a week.

Gabriel: *laugh* It’s a good opportunity to get wedding cake.
Kuro: I know what you’re talking about! Dude, that stuff is good! Especially the slices with the marzipan roses on it!
Gab: Yeah. *cough* The Erasi children are fond of it.
Kuro: Hell yeah! I- wait a minute. Are you making fun of me?
Gab: No! I would never… *trying not to laugh*

So at the end when they’ve killed the monster, they find that someone is getting married in the inn they’re staying at. They get invited and get some cake.
Kuro is a little sad because he didn’t get any marzipan, but then Gabriel rolls his eyes and gives him the marzipan rose off his piece of cake.
Kuro: Dude! Thanks!! *puts the whole thing in his mouth*
Gab: Wha- You could have saved some for me!!
Kuro: Sorry. *takes the marzipan back out of his mouth* You can have some, if you want-
Gab: -that’s disgusting! I don’t want it now!
Kuro: But you just said-
Gab: -just eat the damn thing!
Kuro: O-okay…*munch munch* Man, this is good. Must have made it fresh this morning. Did they use rosewater-
Gab: Rub it in, why don’t you? I don’t need a play-by-play here! Just shut up and eat your stupid flower quietly!
Kuro: I said I was sorry…

And then I stepped back and thought “WOW. I just incorporated a chapter parody into the story. This is…amazing…and could turn out horribly badly….”
I bought this really GOOD strawberry made of marzipan from an Italian shop in Boston. Ohhh. So good. This shop sells all kinds of pastries and biscotti and marzipan shaped into different fruits. . They put your pastries in boxes and tie it up with string. And you can sit at these cute little white tables by the tall windows and drink foamy cappuccinos from these huge old fashioned ceramic mugs and eat the pastries you bought *flail* It is amazing!!
And they always bring your coffee with stirrers made of crystallized sugar, so when you stir your coffee it DISSOLVES into it.  
Mike’s Pastry. If you’re ever in Union Square in Boston, checkers it out.
If you’re at MIT, go across the street to the student cafeteria across from the architecture school and go up one flight of stairs to the Japanese place. Get a bubble tea. They are amazing.
And if you’re ever in Chinatown in San Francisco, go eat a dim sum lunch at Gold Mountain. NOW.
And if you’re ever in Ithaca, New York, go up to Cornell and get an ice-cream from the food science department. The students make it themselves and sell it on campus. They can’t sell it anywhere else because it has like, three times the fat that government regulated ice cream is supposed to have, but that’s what makes it delicious. They invent different flavours and everything

Comments

[obseletevulture.livejournal.com]

*blink*
Clearly I'm a bad influence on you. That sounds horribly like chapter parody...*cracks up* I need to send you crap for this. I should send you the shit-eating discussion between Araiel and Lafayel! *gasp* brilliant plan!

[foolish-m0rtal.livejournal.com]

^_^ Well, admittedly, it's not THAT bad. But that's the basic gist of it.

probably in several comments....

[obseletevulture.livejournal.com]

Well...actually your dialogue is quite different. *cough* But really, the basic principal with you is "the coveted tasty food is being consumed" with me it's more: Lafayel's getting frustrated over his work. Araiel shows up out of the blue as he's wont to do, and brings with him some food for snacks. (Lafayel still gets the urge to groan and crawl under a rock every time he sees said cheerful seraph as is) Lafayel take another look at said food, and is all "...I have no idea why you think that's food. I might have stepped in it, but I've never eaten it before..." And Ariael of course replies back indignantly that he is most certainly not feeding Lafayel crap...
Lafayel: "Then what is it, pray tell?" *with an attitude of indulging him basically so he can prove him wrong*
Araiel: *cheerfully* "Placenta"
Lafayel: *turns faintly green*

Araiel gets all mock-indignant and goes off onto a long semi-humorous ramble about all the suffering he went through to find the stuff--more or less something like:
Araiel: Much can be gained from the body's waste system, I'll have you know-
Lafayel: I'll take your word for it. *somewhat amused but doesn't want to show it*
Araiel: -and after all I went through-
Lafayel: *blinks despite himself* You cooked that?
Araiel: -waiting in lines longer than the ages to bring you a fine example of our illustrious cusine-
Lafayel: *really trying not to show he's amused* I spend most of my time in the chayyot realms, you know.
Araiel: -I find my collegue lamenting-
Lafayel: Really? Lamenting am I?
Araiel: -and pining away with passionate love for his work!
Lafayel: ... *can't come up with a comeback*
Araiel: *Pleased that he's gotten Lafayel not to make a comback*
Lafayel: *scowl* I'm not pining--with due respect. *obviously doesn't have any heart at all in his added on words* *glares at Araiel*
Araiel: *grinning because he knows he's gotten under Lafayel's skin* Then what's got you making such a sour look, hm? It was before you caught sight of my wonderful placenta stewed with herbs--which is a real treat for someone like me, by the way.

Lafayel proceeds to have a small grousing fit over his descent work, which culminates in a bit of food throwing after Araiel provokes him by throwing maps at him like the oh-so-mature chayyot that he is...
(Araiel: You don't know swordsmanship.
Lafayel: *glower* I trained myself in swordsmanship, thank you.
Araiel: Yes, but you know nephil swordsmanship, which is more or less, a course in how to throw anything around you in the room at your attacker because your sword is broken due to poor iron-working. Real swordsmanship has to do with defending and attacking either your sphere of defense or the enemy's with a sharpened strip of metal, as is implied by the name of the sport. And I will have you know I am one of the best swordsmen in the fleet, and my opinion is quite professional.
Lafayel: Of course you're one of the best--you're left-handed.
Araiel: I won't even pretend to understand what you mean by that. *innocent smile*
Lafayel: *scowls* Go ahead and stew in your ignorance then, because I don't care to elaborate.)

probably in several comments... (continued)

[obseletevulture.livejournal.com]

So more or less after Araiel "slashes Lafayel to ribbons" with his own rolled-up maps, and Lafayel consequently hurls the placenta at him, causing a small explosion of organ-meats in the vicinity, they decide it might be best to mosey, at which point, Lafayel, most surpringly is all "come on, I'll show you real food"
(Araiel: Why? You can amend your terrible velocity with nephil foods?
Lafayel: Not as such, but I imagine you'll off and die unless you get something decent in you, and doubtless I'll be blamed. *Mutters under his breath "though few enough might hold it against me..."*)

Then the dialogue gets pretty routine until they're standing outside the area and lafayel instructs Araiel to wait there.
Araiel: Lafayel, this is my realm, I'm allowed in there.
Lafayel: I don't doubt it, but I don't care to know what sorts of propositions I would get for being in your general vicinity when I enter, and I personally don't shit where I eat, nor do I care to, so it's really more self preservation.
Araiel: *makes a face at him*
Lafayel: Don't give me that. Wait here. I won't be long. I need fresh greens.
Araiel: *suddenly goes green* Gallbladders?
Lafayel: *gives him a look*
Araiel: *wrinkles his nose* grass?
Lafayel: Clearly someone dislikes you more than I...
Araiel: Probably, because you don't really dislike me, now do you? *grins*
Lafayel: *narrows his eyes* You're rather pushing at me to say something I really ought not when surrounded by those who actually would punish me for such.
Araiel: Well if you really disliked me, you wouldn't be inviting me to share meals with you, now would you? You don't enter a covenant of bread with osmeone you dislike.
Lafayel: *deadpanning* You do if it means you can poison them and have some peace and quiet, and actually get your duties completed. *walks into the room*
Araiel: *blinks then shouts after him* I'm not eating a bite!

*snicker* And I just more-or-less replayed the entire scene from memory. That should tell you how long I had fun with their dialogues. I really like the middle-interactions with Araiel and Lafayel. (the later chapters, Israfel's thought dead, and Araiel's consequently not nearly as cheerful--he takes it hard.)

The "Placenta" scene, or "shit-eating scene" is more or less pure fun though, with a bit of character development as a happy bonus. *grin* It's only really a little more fun than the opening sparring sequences, though. Those two just can't leave the other alone. They get competitive about stuff--conversations included. *snicker* Everyone gets an awful lot of good lines as a result.

I think the next time I have as much fun writing dialogue is with the Nasargiel and Nathanael interactions in front of Araiel when he goes to the nephil realms...But those two are more or less "married" or the equivalent so it's rather different. Nasargiel insults Nathanael and rebukes him almost constantly, and Nathanael replies by being cheerful and slightly perverse, which in turn, Nasargiel rebukes him for in the present company, and Nathanael in turn, tries to set up Araiel with his kids--particularly Kakabel, who deadpans all the way through, and really maximizes poor Araiel's culture shock until finally, and flatly he's like, "Oh, but I don't go for blonds. ...Mostly." Araiel gets releived until Kakabel finishes, "They more or less go for me." (Kakabel sleeps around a bit...*cough* He rather likes chayyot--though Nathanael doesn't have a clue, and neither does the rest of his family.)

What can I say...? Araiel gets around. He's kind of my all-purpose connecter character, since usually it keeps things lighter... I mean...if I want things serious, I use Gabriel or one of the princes or Israfel, or even Rayyu. If I want things lighter...I use Araiel. Or Dubbiel. But Dubbiel's a much darker character over all because he's so manipulative and power-hungry under it all, so typically, it's Araiel.
(hence why I'm really glad you seemed to like him, because I kind of need people to like him...)